Pretty Pictures
Another link stolen from Greybird... this is a Moment of Simplicity - I suggest the color therapy, myself.

WOW!
How does this work?????? You've got to try this card trick, it's amazing. If any of you have a theory about how it works, please tell me, cuz I'm completely confuzzled.
Thanks Greybird for the link...

WTF?!?!
A haiku:

New England weather
Shorts one day, snowing the next
Indecisive bitch.

Heroine or Whore
That's the title of the paper I'm working on now, about the way that two similar myth/stories (about Indian Princess falls in love with foreign explorer, saves his life, then helps him as his forces come to dominate her native land) have resulted in two widely divergent popular images - the noble Indian Princess Pocahontas and the evil traitor Malinche (she helped Cortes)
It's an interesting paper, but unfortunately I JUST got settled on what my topic was, and it's due tomorrow at 11 a.m. (it's 10:21 p.m. right now) And I really don't feel confident that I can pull it off by then, so I'm gonna ask my teachers for an extension till Friday. I think it's fair, since I have been very sick and it's thrown my whole study/reading/writing schedule off. It's the first assignment in that class, so it's not like I have a bad record or anything. But I'm freaked out cuz I hate turning stuff in late, and I really don't want to be behind. This weekend I've got to read up on everything and get caught up. I've got a whole book to read by Thursday as well, and two sociology books to read this weekend. Sheesh.
Lent Update: Withdrawel symptoms hitting hard - I actually stood in the computer room last night whining and whimpering cuz I couldn't have any. All day I planned to have one, but still managed not to get any. So, 14 days down, 26 to go. Yay me.
Health Update: (warning, it's gross) I went to the doc today cuz I was coughing and sneezing up blood... she said I've got sinusitis and gave me meds. So maybe then I'll finally get better, I can only hope.
Luv Update: None. Well. I still love her, I hate myself for saying it, more so for thinking it like 10 times a day, but I do. Love her that is. Don't want her, but I can't help how I feel. Luckily I can help what I do, so I'm ignoring it and waiting for time to do it's thing. As for N., she's sweet and for now it's enough to have someone to call me every now and then and that I can make plans with (even though I end up cancelling them for homework or illness most of the time. That'll change when I'm caught up.)
What I'm Listening To: I've got a 5 CD study-mix on shuffle right now, with Bon Jovi's Crush, the Sweet November soundtrack, the Go soundtrack, and Macy Gray's On How Life Is Oh, and I bought a friend's Flashdance soundtrack - What a Feeling!

I Hate This Paper
Okay, so I didn't do NEARLY enough on my paper, so I canceled the date with N. Which sucks, cuz I'd actually started to look forward to seeing her. Oh well.
Now I'm going crazy trying to write this paper which I have no motivation to write, no real understanding of the topic, and no idea of what she's really looking for. I mean, this is a 4-page paper and it's taken me HOURS, and I've only got 2.5 pages. I suck. So, here I am, talking to the computer instead of writing. More suck.
While I'm here, I would like to share with you some of the funnier search engine referrals I've gotten recently:
* Jesus Jammies
* "Gwen Stefani" lesbian
* Artemis funny pictures

So, I can just picture Gwen Stefani and her lesbian lover, wearing their Jesus Jammies, flipping through funny pix of me from our last concert tour. Yay me!

Okay, back to work. ugh.

The Sun Is Shining
It's a gorgeous day here, definitely NOT the kind of day I want to be at my computer writing a paper on the split labor market as an explanation of ethnic antagonism in various cultures. Which, obviously, I am not writing - instead I'm randomly checking emails, watching Beverly Hills 90210 and playing Bejeweled on www.zone.msn.com
And I'm not even going to be here tonight cuz I'm going to see a movie with N., who I've decided I'm not interested in but don't know how to say that when the reasons are sort of funky. How do I say "you're just not aggressive enough" or "you don't make my tummy flutter" without being rude or mean? I don't know... I'll see if things are different when we're alone (instead of being surrounded by our friends as usual) but if not, then I'll have to do something. After all, I'm not 13, I want more out of a date than a bottled water and a kiss on the cheek.
Back to the paper....

Blog-A-Holic?
Thanks Greybird for the link.....

Are you Addicted to the Internet? 53% Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%) You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer. The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!

If I Were an X-Man
Thanks Gina for the link....

I'm Jubilation Lee
What X-Men Character are You?
Huzzah, you're the fabulous Miss Jubilation Lee, also known as Jubilee. You're a smart-mouthed little bundle of energy who never lacks a snappy come back or witty retort. You're a bit irresponsible at times, but you can't help it if there are better things to be doing with your valuable time than studying or practicing. Pschaw!

No Comment
By the way.... where did all my comments go? All of a sudden all I see is a bunch of "Do You Care?"s where before there were multiple comments... was it all a dream? Did I make up all those witty and/or sympathetic comments? Hmmmm, maybe if I wish hard enough they'll come back.

Mass in the News
Two news items have sparked reactions for me.... one joyous, one dejected.

Of course, there's the news that WSJ reporter Daniel Pearl was killed by his captors, which was what we feared all along. It turns out that Pearl started out in this area of Mass, working for the North Adams paper, where he was considered "too good" for the small paper there. In the tv piece on his Mass connections, his former editors, colleagues and interns spoke of him in ways that reminded me of many reporters I worked with back home.... the R.K.s, the M.S.s, even the K.M.s (yeah, that's you) It's just creepy to think of one of them, one of the rising journalistic stars I might have known however briefly, someday being put on a tv screen with a Kidnapped logo behind their mugshot. And, though I of course did not know Pearl in any way, shape or form, and was almost completely removed from his level of journalism, it is still chilling in a particular way to realize that one of our own was killed simply for doing what we are trained and paid to do, what we believe in doing, what we must do.
My prayers go to his family, and to all other foreign journalists and their families who must surely be feeling this with an unimaginable intensity.

The story that boosted my spirits, on the other hand, is that the Mass. Supreme Court has decided that the outdated sodomy laws still on the books do NOT apply to consensual acts committed in private between adults. The laws can only be used to prosecute acts committed in public or without consent, which of course if perfectly reasonable for any kind of sex act. This is a major step, one that has both symbolic and practical value for gay AND straight people throughout the state. (straight because, remember, anyone can commit sodomy - it's usually defined as anal sex between any sexes, and often includes oral sex as well - helloooooooo????? Like no-one has oral sex, right?)

Okay, that was my views on the news.... now back to our regularly scheduled programming of academic procrastination, lingering illness and broken-hearts club whining.

Where Did It Go?
I could swear I wrote a post yesterday, but it's not here. I can't remember really what I said, but geez, it should be right here. Oh well.
My long and grueling week with the kids is over, and now I just have to write three papers (well, two for sure this weekend, one by Thursday) Oh - and of course I have to do the reading for those papers, which I have barely begun. Yay me.
Continuing irritation - my car loan and other bills are MAJORLY overdue (I'm talking 3-4 months) and they've been fairly patient while I wait on my paycheck from my holiday job back home, which I kept telling them would be here any day now. Well, after more than a month of waiting, I asked the administrator (Mr. T., to those of you who know) what the heck was holding up my pay, and he checked, and sent me an email saying "Accounting says they never saw anything about it. Could you resend your invoice?" To which I SCREAMED! and then quickly sent the info, asking him to "please put a bit of a rush on it, since it has been over a month." Course, I wanted to reach through the computer monitor and rip him a new orifice, but I restrained myself. It's insane, I'm getting several thousand $ over the next few weeks, but it's all LATE, LATE, LATE and I'm just holding off the wolves at the door with faint promises that are getting weaker and weaker as time passes. Oh well. In a month it'll all be better, right?
Oh yes.... on the Evil One front - today's her birthday. I realize that shouldn't matter, but it does. I still think about her all the time, and the cruel reality that I've come to realize is that, while she was bad for me, had many problems, and obviously did not deserve me, I cannot deny the fact that I love her still. That's why it hurts so much, that's why I still think about her, that's why it burns so that it ended the way it did, that's why her IMs drove me crazy so much (and why the lack of IMs hurts, even when it is at my insistence)
So, to help me get over it (and the incredible anger/bitterness I feel) I have taken to praying for her each night. In fact, I pray that she, her family, and her loved ones (that part's hard, since it includes The New One) get all the happiness and success that I would wish for myself. It's difficult, but I know from experience that it is one of the most effective ways to get over/through something like this.
I'm ready for it to start working, though.

Study Break
So I've watched This Is The Army (with Ronald Reagan and a bunch-o-boys in drag) and I've read two loooooong chapters from Coming Out Under Fire, a book about gay/lesbian experiences in WWII military service, and I'm EXHAUSTED. This is after taking the girls at work roller skating for several hours this afternoon, and going to class, and racing around running errands for work, etc.
Roller skating was very odd, it brought back all sorts of quasi-pleasant memories from junior high - hanging out with my friend, flirting ineffectively with boys and girls, wishing I could skate as well as my best friend, was a stacked as well as my best friend, could kiss my best friend.... ahhh, the torment of the pre-teen years. I never "looked" right, but I was always friends with girls who "looked" perfect, so it was doubly miserable.
One nice surprise was that I somehow have retained the basics of roller skating, so I didn't make a total ass out of myself. And there were no "couple skates" so I didn't have to relive the whole "standing on the sidelines all alone" memory. There were several stupid races and games, but I stayed far away from those. All in all an entertaining day, but tiring.
Okay, enough study break, I better finish this next chapter, then read two psych. articles, then an early morning getting the kids ready for an all-day visit at my college. EEK!
Oh, did I mention it's already 12:30 a.m.? I really have go to get soooooome sleep tonight. Oh well.

It's a Good Thing
No, I haven't gone all Martha Stewart-ey on you... I'm just happy cuz I've had a fairly good, productive day. And so, in keeping with my insatiable need to share my accomplishments with others in hopes of receiving positive feedback and the verbal equivalent of gold stars, I will list the things that went right today!
** Finished the WWII paper, with, I believe, the right mix of critique and thesis, within the correct page limits and everything.
** Attended my first class since last Tuesday, making an impressive show of handling complex Marxist and Weberian theory - and it's critics - without actually having read the relevant material. This is an excellent class, and is really of the caliber that I came to this school for. But damn! It's hard! But I amaze myself by somehow being able to grasp it.
** When The Evil One sent yet another chatty IM, I finally wrote the "final email" which wrapped up the one loose end between us and then said, basically, "well, this is it then. goodbye and good luck" (said much nicer, of course) To which she sent a near-hysterical IM saying "does this mean we can't ever talk? what about this and that and the other?" and she then proceeded to list a series of family traumas she's undergone lately, continuing her habit of randomly throwing out personal information in an effort to get me involved in conversation. I then sent her a more forceful letter, carefully written, which said, and I quote: "I realize this may sound harsh, but we are not friends. We are exes. As such, I don't see that we have anything further to talk about. We both have new lives, and there is no reason to put up a facade of friendship just to satisfy some lesbian commandment that all exes should remain friends. Some exes behave like friends, some don't. You made your choice, and now I've made mine. I am truly sorry to hear about your family's troubles, but I know that they, like you, are resiliant, and you will all be fine. I will keep you all in my prayers in the meantime." To which she sent a typically mature IM saying "That's fine. Due-ces!" which is her thuggy way of saying "whatever/later" So now I'm done, and I feel good about it. If the IMs continue then I'll block them. Ahhhhh, freedom.
** Actually did a load or two (still doing it) of laundry. That's a good thing after being sick for the past week.
** Took my collection of dirty dishes and juice cups downstairs to the kitchen.
** Spoke with N. who asked "when you said you were interested in dating, did you mean an exclusive thing?" to which I replied "I wouldn't ask that of you yet, nor would I be able to offer it yet." We then also talked my school, her job, other stuff, sort of getting to know each other a bit better out from under the watchful eye of our friends. I also asked her to be my date at the drag ball next month. Yay me!
** Resisted the almost overwhelming urge to break my Lent promise and drink Diet Coke. Drank Sprite instead. This makes 6 days off Diet Coke.

So, all in all a good day, course it helped that I slept in until noon... Tell me, how was your day?

READ THE INSTRUCTIONS!
Damn, Damn, Damn. Okay, so I'm working on this paper, feeling pretty okay about it, but not sure how to work in the source critique, when I reread the instruction sheet and realize that I HAVE IT ALL WRONG! I'm not supposed to work in the critique, the paper is almost entirely a critique!!!!! But no, in my flu-induced insanity, I read it wrong, and now I've wasted all that time on it. Damn, Damn, Damn.
So now I basically have to start all over. Course, this way is easier to structure, but still..... I could just kick myself.

Progress Report
I know, I know, I'm blogging way too much tonight. I guess I'm just excited that my brain is being functional beyond "ugh, where's my kleenex?" and "ugh, where's my jello?"
So, I just wanted to give a little progress report on this god-forsaken paper I'm writing... It was due on Friday but my teacher gave me till this afternoon to write it. I only started feeling human this evening, so I sent her an email asking for time till class on Tuesday to finish it, which I imagine she'll allow. Anyway, I have the first page written, which may not sound like much, but given my almost complete lack of brainpower the past few days, is pretty impressive to me.
What's it about, you ask (yeah, right, like you care! y'all have all finished college, why would you want to relive these days?) It's a short essay (3.5 - 4.5 pages) titled Before Rosie Was a Riveter: How Women Viewed the Approach of World War II. We're limited to the primary and secondary sources we've used in class, and we are expected to critique the sources as well as discuss the topic itself. So it's interesting, but it's the first time I've been asked to actually critique the sources veracity within a traditional paper, so it's a bit difficult figuring out when and where to blend it all together. But I'm sure that I'll do okay, and apparently these are the types of papers that are common in history classes, so it's good that I'm learning now rather than later.
Oh yeah, in other news... I'm doing good on the giving up Diet Coke for Lent thing. (better than giving up my girlfriend for Lent, right K? That didn't go over well, now did it?) No Diet Coke since Tuesday night (course, being dog-sick has helped with that, but now I'm past the cravings so much so it should be pretty okay.)
And, let's see...... well, that's about it. I'm listening to Tori Amos' Strange Little Girls CD.... pretty good, but oh my, that second track is tres disturbing! (of course, it's by Eminem, who'dathunk?)

Tests Don't Lie, Do They?
I don't know if I really agree with this result, but who am I to argue with it? Specially if it means I get to have the cute little Elmo-face on my blog?




I am ELMO.

I'm cute, cute, as a button!


Which Sesame Street Character Are You?

Mayor Miller?
Oh my god. I just saw on CNN Headline News that Laura Miller, former "investigative reporter" and frequent muck slinger has actually been elected mayor of Dallas. Oh My God. I mean, I loved Laura being on the City Council, where she was an excellent thorn in the side of big business, which as we all knew, was the real mayor of the city. But as mayor? I guess I'm just too much of a cynic/conservative in that I truly believe that the mayor should be more salesperson than handyman, and her "i'm gonna fix the city" approach will be great for the short term, but what will it mean in the long run for Dallas? I wish she'd have stayed on the council, perhaps turning it into a force for fixing things, and left the mayor job to a slicker type who could sell the city in the bigger arena. Mayor Ron Kirk was such a mayor, no matter what bad might be said about him. Course, like Mayor Kirk, at least Mayor Miller can be counted on for good quotes, and for returning reporters phone calls. (though I hope she manages to avoid cussing like a sailor on a reporters voice mail, thinking she'd already hung up) (p.s. I worked really hard on finding that link, so you click on it, ya hear?)
And by the way, since when is the Dallas mayor's race worthy of CNN Headline News? Wow, must be a slow news day.
And for those of you readers who are wondering "why on earth is she going on about some mayor down in Texas?" - I'm from Dallas, and in fact I worked at a place Mizz Mayor once worked at....hmmm, maybe I should consider a career in politics? Nahhh, WAY too many incriminating photos out there! (just kidding..... or am I?)

Woe Is Me
Yep, I'm feeling even worse today. I haven't showered or left my room in two days (other than to stumble downstairs for a massage/body work by housemate or to make toast) and I've not done even 1/16 of my paper, which is due this afternoon. I feel lousy, and it's getting worse. I'm actually thinking of going back to the doctor, as I'm pretty sure she said I'd feel better by now, not worse.
On the other hand, it's gorgeous here, all snowy and calm, and just outside my window the two cutest birds had landed on the bare branches of a tree... it was a nice reminder that not all is sickness and plehgm (sp?)
Well, I'm just checking in... talk to y'all later.

And It Gets Worse
I'm sick. Course, we already knew that, right? So what made me think that going out last night (on a second date, no less) was a good idea? I told myself all sorts of lies like "I'll just hang out at their apartment, and then when they go to the club I'll head home" and "I'll be home by midnight, at the latest"
Well, of course, I did go to the club, and I didn't get home till 1 a.m., and now I am dog tired, sick and queasy, with chills, headache and nausea. yay me.
Not that the evening was a total wash - I really had a good time (too good, obviously) and N. finally kissed me, after, I believe, some prodding from our friends. We had a little chat about how school is my priority, and I can't/won't allow anything to get bigger than that, or to interfere, which she seemed to really understand. She said I smell nice, which made me smile. And she held my hand walking back to our group of friends. So it was nice, but no fireworks (could be cuz I'm sick, so I'm not making a judgement till we kiss in health)
Let's see.... other things.... I've got an extension till tomorrow afternoon to write my paper for WWII class, and I don't honestly know if I can do it by then. But if not, then I'll just get a dr's note and she said she'd give me more time. sick sucks.
OH! And the worst of all this is that I'm missing the New England Blog-N-Bowl! Yep, right now, even as I type, an odd assortment of pagan dykes, pseudo-dogs and jewish grrls are hurling balls down a lane and munching on greasy diner fare without me! It's so dissapointing.... I was soo looking forward to it. Oh well, another time I suppose. Though I was really hoping to meet some of y'all... maybe you can post pictures if y'all took em?
Okay, that's it for the blogger energy... soon A. will bring me noodles and butter from the dining hall and I'll get to eat. Be a nice addition to the orange and two pieces of toast I've had today. Hmmmm, wonder if I'll lose weight?

Get Your Goddess Here

Thanks to Catherine for the link to the Goddess test... it would have been nice if I'd gotten Artemis, but since she's the Goddess of Virgins, the Hunt and the Moon, I can see how I wouldn't qualify. And this one is so appropriate (unfortunately....) Though once I have kids I'll be Demeter, which is groovy as well.

See which Greek Goddess you are.

On the Bright Side

I forgot to mention the one okay/good thing about tomorrow - N. did call and ask me out for dinner, which was sweet. She was so shy, it was adorable - she could barely stay on the phone for five minutes. I told her I probably won't feel up to it, but if I do I'm gonna call her and we'll meet somewhere close by.

And Friday we're all (about 7 of us, my new posse) supposed to go to the bar to dance and play pool. Again, like I'm gonna feel up to that! Maybe I'll get them to go to the movies instead...

Listening to: 12 Deadly Cyns, the greatest hits-type CD by Cyndi Lauper.... fun, fun, fun.

1 Hour to VDay
Not that I'm counting or anything. I just got a lovely rose from my neighbor (who is way cool, but soooo loud) because she heard from A. that I was flower-less and unloved on V-Day, and since she just got a dozen gorgeous roses from her hunny in NY, she felt generous. Yay me. A second hand rose (haha) from a straight girl. Could it be much worse?

Every dorm across campus has been filled with flowers and packages, and tomorrow promises to be worse. Being sick only makes it all that much more excruciating, of course.

Oh yes, and The Evil One IM'ed me today, another chatty message, which I unfortunately answered after awhile but I was proud of myself, I kept my answers short, business-like and quickly excused myself. She, on the other hand, was chatty, asking after me and my studies, and trying to throw out tidbits about her life and to tell me a story. I nixed all of that without ever getting rude, just short, like I said. One thing she did manage to mention was that she's moving soon (she'd signed a six-month lease with plans to move up here when it was done.... see the knife twist....) and all I could think was that I'm sure she's moving in with The New One, you know, the one who is so beautiful inside that it doesn't matter that when they first started hanging out The Evil One told me she was ugly, the one who is right there and doesn't want her to move, to stop drinking and driving, to stop smoking SO MUCH POT, and to stop getting into bar brawls. In fact, the New One probably thinks all that is good fun. So she's obviously perfect for the Evil One, so why does she KEEP IMING ME????

I will eventually have to just say "We are not friends, we are exes. We are not on good terms, and until you have had a major change of heart and attitude, I don't think I want to change that. As I see it, we have nothing further to talk about. Please respect my wishes."

Whatcha think? Is that a good "leave me alone" speech?

Damn the Luck

Just got back from the doc, who said I have no strep, no flu, nothing they can actually TREAT. Just garden-variety viral crud, meaning I get to be miserable for the next week or so while flooding my body with water and jello, missing out on any fun activities I had planned (valentines, vagina monologues, trip to Boston, dancing with friends, and second date with N.)

Life sucks.

Oh, and while we're at it, my doc didn't like my blood pressure reading and decided I need to go back on my meds, after a semester of my convincing her I could control it through diet and exercise. Damn, Damn, Damn. I don't like being on meds, and I really wanted to do it myself. Oh well. So tomorrow I start back on Procardia XL, which adds another $15 a month to my drug budget. Yay me.

Is There a Doctor in the House?
I don't feel good. My throat hurts like I swallowed ground glass, and my nose is not sure whether to drip or just clog entirely up in protest. My head is beginning to swim and my eyes are watery and itchy.

Oh yeah.... one of my beloved coworkers mentioned yesterday she had strep throat. Yay me.

I have an appointment with my health center tomorrow (love student healthcare) and they told me to gargle with saltwater for tonight.

blargh. I wanna go home. Oh, wait, I am home. I hate being sick alone.... nobody to bring me water, nobody to feel my foreheard for a fever...

Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself, and yes, this is a blatant plea for sympathy..... but at least I'm honest, right?

Me and my crabby-all-alone-sick-whiny-feelin'-puny-self are going to go get the damn saltwater and then we're going to bed. Good night.

::::::::trundling down the stairs wif her teddybear::::::::::::

Heil Hynkel
I just saw The Great Dictator for WWII class, which I've avoided seeing for years, and it was so odd! I mean, okay, what's up with the Jewish barber quoting Luke in the final scene? The movie was quite disturbing, though I worked hard to remember throughout that Chaplin said he wouldn't have done it if he'd known then what he later learned about the extent of the Nazi atrocities. But still, to see the Ghetto made the site of visual gags and pratfalls, to show the stormtroopers as merely bungling brutes rather than terrorizing goons, well.... it was just difficult. Left me with a variety of responses, unfortunately none of them well-formed enough to put here.

On a completely un-related side note, purely because A Few Good Men, with Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, Jack Nicholson and Kevin Bacon is on, did you know that the actor who plays Carter on ER was one of the soldiers to testify in the trial scenes? I heard his voice and got all confused, looked up, and there he was, with a jarhead haircut and everything.

Anyway, back to random blogging.... My weekend in Maine was fabulous. I stayed at the Ogunquit Resort Motel with three other girls from school. We got there late Friday night, and hung out in the room drinking rum and cokes, buttery nipples and kahlua shots (not all together, wouldn't that be gross?) and watching lame hotel cable. Saturday morning we got up and went to the beach (which you could just see from our hotel) and walked around in the surf.... Manda and Mar took their shoes off and went into the water a bit, but quickly ran back cuz it was COLD! Mo and I were a bit more pragmatic, I just leaned over and wiggled my fingers in the frozen water, and Mo kept a safe distance the whole time. Manda picked up some shells, but the rest of us left them, having been properly indoctrinated by environmentalists who say it's bad, bad, bad, to take the shells from a beach. We took some pictures, watched some terns, and generally had a good time. Then we got hungry. REALLY HUNGRY!

We went to this great diner, which was packed with locals (always a good sign.) It's known for its lobster pie, but it was too early to tackle that so we all got breakfast/lunch. I got soft-shell crab omelette with hollandaise sauce on top. Mar. got the best blueberry pancakes I've ever tasted (we all shared) and Mo and Manda both got crab cakes. Manda also got this incredible she-crab soup that was creamy with a touch of sherry that we all agreed was sublime and possibly the best thing on the table.

After that, it was off to Freeport for some serious shopping! I turned in my parka and got a pair of snowseal boots ( I think they're too butchy, but everyone else says they're fine), some fuzzy fleeces, a sorta sexy-cute top with a little tie on the neckline, and various miscellaneous stuff. I also tried the Gingerbread Latte at Starbucks, which required TONS of sugar to make it drinkable. After we all shopped to our hearts content, we started back down Highway 1 (which follows the coast) until we found a good place for lobster. Finally we settled on The Cascades, where Mo and Manda got the 2 Lobsters plates, Mar. got chicken parm. and I got baked scallops.... we all also had New England clam chowder, which was exquisite. The service was horrid, but the bread was great, so it all evened out, I suppose.

Okay.... what next.... we continued down 1 to our hotel, where we proceeded to get rather tipsy, with Mo pouring buttery nipple shots directly into Mar's mouth... those two used to date, but don't anymore, but are supposed to get back together as soon as "issues" are settled, so there's TONS of tension (sexual and otherwise) between them, so it's fairly amusing. One by one they all dropped off to sleep, until I had to go around the room like the den mother, reminding them to put away their books, get under the covers, and in the case of Mo, who was sharing my bed, to brush her teeth!

Sunday morning we woke up, Mar took a walk on the beach, we all got ready, and we rolled out about 11 a.m. On the way back we stopped in New Hampshire to experience the miracle that is the state-operated liquor outlet! woohoo! Such selection, such cheap prices, such a complete lack of attention to the two underage shoppers roaming their aisles! It's a college student's dream. So of course we had to get some more alcohol, cuz you just can't go into a place like that and not buy something! So I now have an almost full bottle of rum and a full bottle of peach schnapps (for fuzzy navels) in my room - me who drinks like once a month! That'll last me all semester, and that's if I have a party! But hey, at least I'm prepared.

We stopped for lunch in some god-forsaken town that was so Republican that it had flags waving from almost every other house and every business. It was creepy, but lunch was incredible. it was this funky cafeteria style place that served only breakfast on Sundays, and the cooks were clearly first or second generation new yorkers, bordering on rude, and the food was all good, greasy and fresh. YUMMY.

After doing all the driving myself, I finally turned the wheel over on the Turnpike back home, cuz my eyes were burning and my attention wandering. About an hour later, I woke up as we neared campus, dropped everyone off at their dorms, and then stumbled up to my room.

Oh - did I forget to mention? While on my little trip, I managed to do ALL my ed. psych. reading, and ALL of my WWII reading!!!! I was soooooo proud that I stayed on top of that in spite of my road trip. I think I might be getting the hang of this student stuff after all. In fact, now that I've watched the Dictator tonight, I've got everything done for tomorrow as well. Yay me.

Okay, that's all for now.... hope you enjoyed my little travelogue...

Wavin' at Gina
By the way, I see from my sitemeter that someone from quik.com is on my site... if that's you Gina, Hello! Hope your weekend is groovy as well! See ya at Blog-N-Bowl!

In the Maine

Just got back from Maine, where I ate tons of seafood and drank more than few cocktails with my pals. I'll post more later, gotta go unpack and eat dinner.

I am in a great mood, by the way - the trip did me good, and I'm looking forward to this week. Isn't that a nice attitude to start out with? We'll see how long it lasts.....

Blind Man's Bluff

Okay, went over to my co-worker's house (you remember, the one with the carolyn kennedy gf) for an evening of Friends, Will and Grace, and ER, and, lo and behold.... she had a little surprise for me! After the last blind date went so poorly, she decided to invite another of her friends over, without warning me, just to see if we might hit it off. This is what I get for bitching about being single around her.

However, despite my original discomfort (thank god I wore the cute turtleneck sweater instead of my scrubby fleece) I found myself thinking "okay, this one's sorta cute" and "hmmm, she's got good manners" and "hmmmm, does she speak?" Okay, that last one was cuz she was awfully quiet, though I'm sure she was just as uncomfortable as I was, if not more. But after we all got a bit more comfortable, she actually spoke, and then she was actually pretty funny. And when we went out for ice cream, she bought mine, and when I left, she walked me out, and then we shook hands and she sorta kissed me on the cheek. It was so sweet!

So, we're supposed to all go dancing next weekend... we'll see what happens. Oh, and co-worker made sure to mention, while N. was in the kitchen, that "she thinks you're hot!" so I suppose she's at least somewhat interested. Which, as I said to Kennedy-girl, is always nice... a compliment's a compliment, no matter what comes of it. However.... if she stays well-mannered and sweet, and adds dancing and flirting to the mix... well, we might have a contender for some casual dating, which would be pleasant. So, thank's co-worker and kennedy-girl.

How are y'all doing? And what do you think's gonna happen to Mark Green - is he gonna die this time or will they make another miraculous save? Also... I heard Dr. Benton's coming back for one episode.... maybe Green's funeral? I hope not.....

And so it begins...

Well, mark your calendars - only two weeks into the semester and I'm skipping a class - in my major, no less! But ya know, I'm just overwhelmed and unable to figure out how to get lunch, get dressed, get to work AND get to class on time, so guess which one gets dropped?

But don't worry... I did my reading, and they don't take attendance, and anyway..... okay, there's really no rationalization. But still, here I am, and I'll just have to get the notes from my neighbor.

So, there you go, confession time over. Now I'm off to get lunch and then to work.... tonight it's all about reading for ed psych, reading for WWII, three loads of laundry, and, of course, West Wing!

By the way.... no love on the headlines? I've been doing em for more than a week and no comments....

Haiku to the Chief

For fans of my pal's most excellent Haikus of the News page, here's a site of haikus devoted to the office of the president. Woohoo. Not exactly the same dry wit, but interesting nonetheless.

Go APA Go!
Gay adoptions endorsed, said to be in the best interest of the child.... check it out here.

BITE THIS

WOOHOO! Queen of the Damned is coming Feb. 22! I'm going to have to break my usual aversion to watching popular movies on their opening weekend and check that one out ASAP! (though I'll likely try to catch a matinee.... I soooooo hate sitting next to strangers. Gotta have that buffer seat)

K! I wish you were here to go watch it with me....... :::::::::::pouting:::::::::::::

Oh, how cute is this? It's rated R, with notations of Vampire Violence. I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, enough geeky-vampire-fixation for now.....

Ask Artemis

K recently posed a question via blogback, and I wanted to address it before it moved to the archives....

K's question: How messed up is it for me to reject a man because I don't like the sound of his voice? How does it compare to my rejection of J. the Teacher because I don't agree with his style of lesson planning for his first-grade classroom? Or my rejection of A. the Urologist because, well, he's a urologist? Or B. the Biology Teacher because he appeared to like me?

A's answer: It is Totally Messed Up! Why, you ask me? Because you are an incredibly smart, witty, creative and interesting woman, who, by the way, is absolutely hot in an alternative-hipster-geek-literati style, and you are an excellent catch! I keep telling ya, we'd be PROUD to have you on our team, and you know I've had to turn friends away from attempting their toaster ovens with you! Now, just to be clear, getting rid of A. the Urologist was in fact, clearly not your fault. I mean, that's just an occupational hazard he's gonna have to live with. After all, you didn't make him choose that specialty. As for J the Teacher.... that was a bit different, since he seemed nicely appropriate for you, but then, disagreement about something so basic for both of your jobs could have been a growing problem.

However, B the biology teacher's only sin was liking you?????? c'mon...... that's not a crime, it's a mark of good taste, if you ask me! Of course, I can see that timing may have been a problem, along with unresolved feelings for X. But this new guy, his only sin was the sound of his voice? I'm hoping it was truly heinous, either high-pitched and girly or perhaps grumbling and monosyllabic? Otherwise you may have to look at just how exclusionary you've made your standards, and if they're getting you the results you want.

Thus sayeth Artemis (course, this isn't really her specialty, seeing as she's Goddess of the Virgins and all... and there's that pesky track record, as related below, that could shake your faith as well)

It's Quiz Time

Well, it's always quiz time around here, but this one's just so geeky-writer-ish that I had to post it.

Date Update at 11

Well, I promised you comical, even horrific details, but that might prove difficult, considering that there was, in fact, no actual date. Yep, that's right. Oh yes, there was supposed to be a date, there is no doubt about that. I raced home from work, got showered and dressed and even managed to curl my hair and zoom off to the movie, where we were to all meet up, and there I waited. And waited. And waited some more. Just as I was beginning to feel absolutely miserable and stereotypically stood up, there comes my co-worker, saying that the date had car trouble, and we were going to go back to co-worker's place to wait for the date to show up.

So, okay, I'm okay with this... anyone can have car trouble, and even though I despise last minute changes in plans that I have no control over, I'm fine with this, because, hey, this is the new me, and I'm on a grand blind date adventure, and I'm okay. So we head over to co-worker's apt., first stopping by everywhere the date might be... and that's when the fun really begins...

You see, I knew that the date was in recovery, but hey - some of my best friends are in recovery, and I have a great respect for people who face their addictions head on and who are successful. But no, she's not just "in recovery," she's recently in recovery, as in about 6 months clean, off of..... you guessed it..... HEROIN. So, yeah, this sounds good..... and how does it come out that she's so newly clean? Well, it was swinging by the 12-step meeting where she was supposed to be making coffee as part of her service work, and then, by the group home where she's staying as part of her attempt to get off of HEROIN.

So by this time I'm thinking it's probably a good thing that the date didn't show, since I really think I've done enough time providing support and succor to the currently and recently addicted, and I personally would like to graduate to a different level of dating, if ya don't mind! And then comes the piece de resistance (I'm too lazy to check if that's spelled right, so feel free to correct me in the comments) when co-worker announces that the date might not have called or shown up because, in addition to car trouble, she also received a rather large settlement from a car accident that day. Co-worker and I both know what that can mean for the newly sober amongst us - relapse! So, we never hear from the date, who we eventually assume has gone out to blow her money on her drug of choice, which thankfully was not me, and we go to the bar - me, co-worker and her girlfriend. Oh, did I forget to mention that co-worker could easily become my own personal drug of choice, if only it weren't for her new girlfriend who looks as though she's the poor but still beautfil twin sister of Carolyn Kennedy! (not that I'd ever actually go after someone in a relationship, but a girl can dream, right?)

So, there I am, at the bar, having a decent time cuz co-worker and Kennedy-girl are both fairly amusing and generally cool, but as the night progresses, it becomes bleaker and bleaker as couples everywhere move from dancing and flirting to kissing and grinding, and I am left alone, the observer, the single one. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

Driving home I thought about how much I wanted to kiss someone, how much I missed it.... and I thought about how much I liked kissing the Evil One, and how well we danced together, and how much fun we had going out together. And I hated it that I was thinking about that, but I realized it was sort of a natural thing to think about, and that it was okay to remember good things about her as long as I remembered that the bad HEAVILY outweighed the good.

Oh, speaking of the Evil One, perhaps the reason she was on my mind is that she seems to be IMing me about once a day! Thankfully I'm not at home when she does it, so I have sent her a reply saying basically "I'm busy with work and school, if you need to tell me something perhaps you should email it" which, of course, she never does. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the idea of her missing me and wanting to make a connection with me, and my not wanting it (I may miss her on Saturday nights, but in reality, during the light of the day, I know I want nothing to do with her. Not even the classic lesbian "friends" thing, after all, she did not treat me as a friend would, so why would I want her as a friend?) But, while I get a sick, small satisfaction out of her attempts to contact me, more than anything they irritate me, and I want them to stop. If she doesn't get the hint soon, then I'll send her a quick note asking her to refrain from contacting me unless there's something specific she needs to discuss with me.

Hmmmm, on other dating/women fronts..... Did I already write about the motorcycle-riding massage therapist I was seeing that I broke it off with a few weeks ago? Well, we attempted the "staying friends" thing, since we really had barely gone beyond that in some ways, but it seemed that she was unable to deal with the fact that I had legitimate complaints about the relationship side, and could not talk to me without doing the same passive-aggressive crap she'd pulled earlier, that had led to my not wanting to date her. So, we had a strange little online spat, and it ended with several emails back and forth, with my finally getting a bit more specific about what I thought was missing in our relationshp (which included equality, understanding, and, oh yeah - foreplay!) No contact since then, which is fine with me, as again, I will not settle for a lousy friendship just to keep up my record of staying friends with my exes. Some are worth it, some are not.

Possibly disproving my ongoing fear that noone will ever want me again, I must admit that there has actually been a third woman to come and go in the past few weeks.... this time someone I met through an online message board that I frequent (sorry, no link... the stuff I talk about there isn't fit for this wide and varied audience ) She's intelligent, cultured, plays in a respected orchestra and actually performed on the Xena soundtracks, which, to those of you who know me, was a MAJOR PRIDE POINT!!!!! And, of course, she's strongly butch-identified, short, funny, and thinks I'm gorgeous, which is pretty good combination, eh?

So, what's wrong with this picture? Oh yes.... did I forget to mention that she lives in Salt Lake City?????? Yep, the land of the Mormons (who wear, as she calls them, Jesus Jammies.... isn't that cute?)

Long distance with a total stranger - Yeah, that's a recipe for happiness. So, after a few days of intense flirting on the boards, then in emails, and then finally a 6-hour (SIX HOUR!) phone call, I came to my senses and told her that, while I'd be thrilled to date her if she lived ANYWHERE near me, I just wasn't willing to get close to someone who I wouldn't be able to really *get closer* to. She was appropriately dissapointed, and assured me that her finances made it possible to travel fairly often, but I stayed firm that what I wanted was a local date, not a long-distance relationship, and that the timing and location just were not working for us.

I guess the upshot of all this is that I've been making fairly good decisions about not settling, not accepting anything just to say I have something, and I've been direct and honest with all parties. Course, that doesn't keep me warm at night (nothing does with this latest cold snap!) but it does make me feel like I've grown up some.

I'd love to tell you all about the books I'm reading for class, cuz they're great, or the music I'm listening to, cuz it's good, or the ice cream party I threw for my housemates last night.... but I'm tired and still have half of Castaways to read. And it is NOT one of the books I'm enjoying.

So, I'm off to my cold and lonely but morally righteous bed to read for class, to sleep, and perchance, to dream.

Oh - to my New England bloggers.... I'm SO looking forward to the Bowl-N-Blog!!! Woohoo!

Bad Blogger, Bad
Okay, I'm a bad blogger, I haven't posted in days.... school, work, insomnia and catatonia, it's all got my schedule outta whack.

However, tonight is my blind date, so I'll strive to post about it... after all, I am sure there will be many comical, even horrific, episodes to relate.

Oh yes.... why is Utah so far away? I've met the most lovely woman who's in the symphony there..... but it's sooooo far away! Just my luck. damn.

Gotta go take a shower, go to work, go to date, go to movie, go to dinner, go to bed.......