I'm a Faker

Okay, after that last post, I felt really guilty... after all, I know the *real* Daria (and you know who you are, pink Docs or not) and I just don't see how I can even claim Daria-like-ness.... though, perhaps that is the explanation for our odd little friendship. Maybe it is the Daria quotient, higher in you but still present in me, that is our bond? Hmmmmm, gives much to think about.

On another topic.... I am thrilled to see that I am listed No. 3 if you do a Yahoo search for women's diaries. Much better than some of the other searches that have linked to me, including hush japanese movies pictures, and others too crude to list here.

I realize I have not posted much about my lovely classes, but I've been exhausted from the combination of late nights, full courseload and 20-hour-a-week job (working with Incredibly Challenging Children, I might add)

But rest assured, I love my classes, and will post about them most likely tomorrow or perhaps Thursday, in between Friends and ER...

As for the rest of my life, a co-worker is planning a blind date thingie with her and her girl and some supposedly eligible butch bachelor friend of hers. I hope it goes okay, I don't really do the blind date thing. In fact, until I moved up here, I never really did the date thing at all. I figure this is just one big learning experience, and it will be great research for the bad lesbian novel I am destined to write someday. And who knows, I might even actually meet a decent person. If, in fact, they still exist. Bitter much?

Oh - Did y'all see tonight's Buffy? It was hilarious.... such a perfect way to deal with the horror that is most teen jobs... thank god I never worked fast food. As I told my insane buffy-addicted friend from Trinidad, American teens are faced with few choices about working, and the best choice I ever made was that no matter what - I mean No Matter What - I would never work fast food. It may have been one of the only really good decisions I made before I was 25.

Well, I must go now.... still have to read letters from Columbus and Vespucci before class tomorrow, and it's already 12:29 a.m. and I told myself I'd be in bed asleep by midnight. Must start sleeping more. And oh yes, must - MUST - pick up meds tomorrow.

Oh yeah, I'm really loving these two songs - Youth of a Nation by P.O.D. and Blurry by Puddle of Mudd. I know, tres youthful angst, but I can't help it...

G'nite.

Ooooh. Color me surprised

So, continuing my run of pleasantly self-affirming answers to silly blog quizzes, I am proud to announce which Daria character I am.... gee, which do you think? (thanks to WhatDaPuff for the link)



Daria is the poster child for "teen misfit," and holds in high contempt what she sees as the shallowness and superficiality of the world around her. She is also cynical -- though she'd say she's "realistic" -- and mistrustful of authority, and doesn't hesitate to make her opinions known when she sees fit. She has a talent for writing, a sharp intellect, an even sharper tongue (her sarcasm could cut tempered steel), and a wit so dry it makes the Sahara look like a rain forest.

What's Up Doc?
After taking a bit of a hiatus from online quizzes, I came across this one on the daypop site. I couldn't believe how girly my answers were.... first thing you drink on a Friday night? pink or blue frilly thing.... What movie would you watch (out of a strange list) Gone With the Wind.... it's frightening... yet of course absolutely no surprise.




I'm the badass burgundy patent Doc Marten...
I'm cool as hell, I'm deep,
and maybe a little dark

Which Doc Marten are you?
(by *coffeebean*)

tired, tired, tired

I just woke up from a nap. Gotta go to the airport to pick up a chick.... classes start tomorrow. I'll post something a bit more coherent soon, I promise.

Bye

Not Feeling It

Okay, I haven't posted in a while, and I apologize. I have just been caught up in some other trains of thought, especially about Butch/Femme issues and general Queer theory stuff, along with the usual mishmash of school/work/dating/friends/etc. that keeps me busy.

Other things that I have not paid enough attention to are (I suppose this is a version of a to-do list):
Laundry - I've got a clean, dry load just sitting downstairs, in the way of other housemates and completely wrinkled by now, I'm sure
Cleaning my room - Good Lawdy! My room is an absolute pigsty! I need to completely unpack, strip the bed, clean the desk, reorganize the dressers, straighten the bookshelves, put away all the misc. clothes and shoes, and then sweep and mop. Where's my houseboi when I need hym?
Books - I am still missing three books that have not come in yet, and I really need to go check and see if they're in yet.
Bills - too depressing to even consider, but I really need to sit down and organize them and make some sort of budget of when each of them has any chance of getting paid.

So, there you have it.... oh, and I have to go pick up some chick at the train station today. Yay taxi service.

Tomorrow I'm going to Maine, by the way, going to the big LLBean store in the sky.... I'll tell y'all about it when I get back....

Down With Pop-Ups!

This may be the most important thing I share in the entire history of this blog, past and future. This is a link that supposedly will end (for 30 days at a time) those incredibly annoying, pervasive, irritating and ubiquitous pop up ads for the stupid X10 cameras!!!!!! Click on it and it apparently puts a cookie that will stop them automatically. If it works, then I will have renewed faith in technology, as well as renewed pleasure in surfing random links.

Enjoy, my friends, and thanks to Shari for the link. By the way, her site's great - check it out!

Mixed Messages

So I'm pleased to announce that I am now a bonafide Yahoo-attention-whore. To those of you who know me, you already know I'm a regular-variety-attention-whore, so this will not come as much of a surprise. But yes, a few nights ago I got bored and decided to try submitting my silly site to search engines so I too could be horrified and amused by the searches that would then bring people to my door.

Well, it worked. About two days ago I was listed and started getting significantly more traffic... and today, I have my first horrifying search. Did you know that if you search for "over 30 women" I am number 12?????? I'm really not sure how I feel about that. I mean... is that really how I meant to define myself? I could have said so many other things... there are SO MANY OTHER ways I'd want to be remembered by the world than just being over 30. But, on the other hand, I was always told that my age is a compliment, because it means I've done something right to live this long. Yeah, yeah, yeah.... I think that's just something they say though.....

Well, these are my just-woke-up incoherent ramblings for now.....

By the way - not feeling the love about my update! I tell you my money, class and breakup stories and no comments? :(:(

p.s. the new DMX song with Faith Evans (I Miss You)completely confirms my appreciation of him! It's incredibly intelligent and sensitive and makes me almost feel like crying. Just thought I'd share

A Hush Descended Upon Them All

Well, apparently it's not just me, cuz I just checked out Haikus and the comments are missing there as well.

By the way, any of y'all who haven't visited this great site, take a gander... Katie is a sick, sick girl, and I just love her for it. And she's given me new appreciation for the art of the haiku (though, to be accurate, these are senryu's, right K?)

In fact, let me take this moment to offer up the haiku I wrote during my miserable holiday purgatory experience, after the evil ex found the New One.

Dumped by a loser,
Mad at her, angry at self.
Pass the tequila.

And an ode to the boring night shift:

No news not good news
Boredom may create headline:
Reporter found dead.

Whatcha think K? amatuer I know, but hey, it takes time to become a haiku-master such as yourself!

Silence

Okay, comments have dissappeared (sp? it's too early) again. Any of y'all who use YACCS getting this every now and then? Or is it just me. I know, it's just me. They're out to get me. Ack.

We Are Everywhere, Even On Sept. 11

Well, I just posted my long-ass update and here I am, gotta put this up too.

I found it from a yahoo search I was doing for gay and lesbian history to link on my last post, and there it was... it's a list of known (and out) gay/lesbian/transgendered/bisexual victims and heroes from September 11, along with tons of links to other queer info about the Taliban, Muslims, the War on Terrorism, who is giving benefits to gay partners and who isn't, etc. It's a powerful page.. especially finding out (how did I not know this?) that one of the guys who overpowered the hijackers in pennsylvania was gay. wow. If I was not almost in a sleepless stupor I might have something more articulate to say, but I didn't want to wait till tomorrow and then forget to post the link. So, there you have it.

Good Night!

Artemis Update!, or, Whew!
Okay... much has happened since my last real update, so here goes. Bear with me, cuz it's 2:24 a.m. and I really, really should be in bed asleep, instead of blogging and watching bad MTV videos...

MONEY: While I am currently destitute (less than $5 in the account) I do not care, because I just checked my voice mail and got the message that my financial aid - which they told me two days ago was incredibly screwed up with potentially life-altering consequences - was not in fact screwed up at all! Instead, they were! So... I will be able to go to school, buy books, eventually get my phone to make off-campus calls and even, oh my goodness, have a little extra cash!!!! Add that to my first paycheck from new job next week and the "it's in the mail" paycheck from my holiday job, and I'm practically rolling in virtual dough! Yay me!

SEX: Yeah, right. I wish.

DATING, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, ETC.: Tranny Boy never did call back, furthering my theory that many trannies make the tragic mistake of adopting not only a male persona, but the very worst male persona. But it's just as well, cuz I really didn't need hys particular brand of drama in my life, I mean, I think I learned my lesson about dating wanna-be-thugs, no matter how fine they are.

As for B., the good catch I had started dating just before Xmas... I ended it tonight with her, and it went wonderfully. Actually left me thinking "Damn, I've really grown up." In fact, her comment to me was "You're so mature, you're so grown up." Which I liked. Nothing like getting complimented on your ability to break up with someone - though lord knows, I've got plenty of practice. But as I said, it went well and in fact we still went on to the movie (Lord of the Rings - it was GREAT) and showed no noticeable discomfort. I think we both were in similar places, though she only wanted to slow things down, while I called for an all-stop. We did leave it somewhat open-ended in terms of down the road, once she's in a better place school/attitude wise and I'm in a better place heart wise. But I sorta doubt that'll happen, mainly cuz I'm really tryng to learn to look forward, not back. But we'll be great friends.

I also found out that a co-worker of mine (who is, by the way, rather studly herself but involved with a blonde cheerleader type) has told a friend of hers about me, and the said friend is interested in meeting me. So we are supposed to "go do something" sometime. We'll see.

SCHOOL: YAY!!!! It starts on Monday! I know, I'm a complete geek, but I can't help it. I looked up my books online and they look soooo interesting.
Here, let me tell you my schedule (anticipated, won't know for sure till the end of this week):
1. World War II at Home and Abroad - focusing on the non-military experience of WWII - the Japanese-American internment camps, Rosie the Riveter, the emergence of the gay and lesbian movement, the impact of the Holocaust on America, etc. This one is my favorite, because it's about one of the most pivotal times in history - a time that major shifts in thinking, perception and morality occured, and it's also taught by one of the "star" teachers who has an excellent reputation.
2. Educational Psychology - also taught by one of the most sought-after teachers, this class will be of great use to me at my job, as well as fulfilling one of my education minor requirements and a teacher cert. requirement. Go me.
3. Intro to American Studies - this seminar is required for my major, taught by my department head, and uses some of the most interesting books I've read for class. One of them is Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, by Harriet S. Jacobs, which is one of my favorite narratives, and which I've always wanted to study in class.
4. Magazine Writing - this one is at a neighboring university, and is not for sure as I am still waiting on permission, since it's a 400 level class and I am only a sophomore. However, I anticipate being allowed to take it since I do come with some previous experience in journalism, to say the least (she said, fully aware of the vanity of that statement but too tired to care.)
5. Weight Training - Finally, back in the gym! Which leads me to my next update topic....

WEIGHT: Thanks to A., my crazy Trinidadian housemate (the Buffy addict, for those of you who are keeping up) I worked out yesterday and plan to tomorrow (if I ever carry my butt to bed, that is.) I did 40 minutes of cardio, which is pretty good since I haven't worked out since October. And next week I start weight training class. And today I ate pretty well (except for the movie theater popcorn, but hey, it's progress not perfection, right?)
And I'm thinking about starting a private blog to keep track of my progress, workouts, food intake, migraines and other body/health type stuff. I think that would be useful, since I seem to be online ALL the time.

Well, that's all I can think of to update on.... sorry for the overly long post...

Flat As A Board, or, Let's Talk Breasts

You know, sometimes I am amazed and pleased to come across sites that show I am not alone. Not alone in my petty fears, my obsessive thoughts, my unreasonable expectations.

Today I came across a site dedicated to one of my deepest dissatisfactions about my body - yep, breast size. This page is an homage to those women who are still drop-dead gorgeous in spite of - or even because of - their small breast size. Now, it did not escape me that these women are all also extremely skinny, which makes them proportional, but still... it's an encouraging thing to see a collection of small-breasted women who are all considered sex symbols.

Now, this is not one of my more constant or overriding concerns, but I must admit that my size (B, since I know you're wondering) has always been less than I'd hoped for. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that my mother and grandmother both have 40D+ breasts and I sorta assumed that I'd be next in line for the genetic gateway to big-bra nirvana. But nooooo, I got my dad's side of the DNA strand, and got small breasts.

But hey, that's okay by me... after all, at least I never have to wonder "Does she only like me for my big breasts?" which, according to my more-endowed friends who have tried to console me, quite the dilemma for them.

Okay, enough of the breast talk. K, you can quit shaking your head at me....

This Page Has Bite

Okay, while searching out links to feed my housemates growing obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer (well, to be more accurate, her obsession is with Spike) I found this site, which I have not really explored myself but was so impressed by that I thought I'd link to it here... it's a page all about Queer Vampires. Check it out.

Quote of the Day

"We will be post feminists when it is a post patriarchy!"

Taken from A Dyke's World, an amazing, complex site created by Indina Beuche.

HELLO!

So I'm looking at my site meter stuff (most of which I don't really understand) and it says that there are six people actually looking at my page RIGHT NOW. That is so cool (yet so surprisingly spooky).

So, here's a "shout out" to all my readers... whoever you may be.

Gee, now i'm feeling all bad about having nothing but random ramblings and quirky quizzes here for you to look at. I feel like I should bake something for my visitors. Straighten the pictures and light some candles. Guess I'm more of a hostess than I thought. Oh well...

Blog Quizzes About Blogs
Okay, for those of you compulsive quiz-takers out there (and I know you're there...) here's a page linking to four amusing quizzes about blogs... so far I've taken the "Are you More Interesting Than Your Blog" quiz, which I thankfully passed. I am indeed more interesting than my blog, though by how much, I am not sure.

Tell me what your answers are...

You Must Check Out This Site

Thanks to Karen for the link to this incredibly funny site, where you can play around with a virtual version of Dubya (and others? I haven't explored it yet) and he follows your mouse like the kitty, but it's WAY cooler. Okay, so that's a fairly inarticulate explanation... you just have to check it out for yourself, okay?

Oh, sure..... as soon as I whine about my comments, there they are, mocking me....

Hey - maybe I should whine about other things I want and then, when I look, there they'll be? Okay, here goes:
WAAAAHHHH, where is my loving life partner? my motivation to work out? my large paycheck just for being me?

I'll keep you posted on the results...

WAAAAHHHHH, where are my comments? How am I supposed to feel the love without comments? sheesh.

Oh, I almost forgot... I heard the best quote tonight on Cocktail, with Tom Cruise.

Bonnie: "Don't let it end this way."
Brian: "All things end badly, or else they wouldn't end."

Now, that is a brilliant line! I think this may well become my signature line... it's just so perfect.

I took an online personality evaluation that was oddly on-target, so I thought I'd share it with y'all, my few and faithful readers (okay, I know there's just one of y'all, but I know how boring work is so I thought anything I post would at least give you a break from angry parents and psycho school officials)
So, here are the results, with some random comments in italics. And if you wanna take the test yourself, go here and register. It's pretty cool and only takes about 10 minutes.

PART 1: PERSONALITY EVALUATION

Your Social Boldness: Introverted VS Extraverted
You are slightly introverted. Do you ever say to people, "I'm really an introvert" and then they look at you funny? That's because you can be both Extraverted and introverted, but in social situations people see you as an Extravert. Your enthusiastic and self-confident personality, plus your ease at talking to strangers gives the appearance that you are outgoing, even though you may attribute it to just being a friendly person. You find yourself at the center of attention, even though you may not actively seek that position. You are such a warm person that people like to follow you. Which is good, since you have no problem accepting your role as a leader when it is given to you. With your ability to flow easily from shy to outgoing, you may tend to easily flow from exciting adventures to relaxing times at home. This makes you a fun person to be around, because you do not always have to be on the go, yet you know there is more to life than reading and watching TV. (WOW - this was pretty much right on the money, as far as I can tell... except maybe for the adventures part.... but I suppose it depends on what we define as "adventures")

Your Agreeableness: Candid VS Considerate
You are very considerate. You are a popular person, aren't you? Of course you are. You truly value harmony in dealing with others. People recognize your friendly, generous, and helpful personality. Your easy-going, agreeable nature makes you such a joy to be around. This is especially true in meetings or general conversations. The topic may become heated, but you are considerate of other's feelings and you will find a happy medium in order to placate those around you. This is because you have an optimistic view of human nature and you realize that if you trust people with their decisions that they are not trying to hurt you or take advantage of you. This special and rare quality is also seen in your altruism. You enjoy helping others. To you it is not a sacrifice; to you it is fulfilling to help others in need. (Okay, this seems more like what I should aspire to, rather than what I am today... but still, nice to see it's in my future, ya know?)

Your Self-Control: Impulsive VS Cautious
You are very impulsive. You are an independent thinker. You do not need a book of rules to tell you how to behave - you know inside what is right and what is wrong and you act accordingly. You are able to live life spontaneously, because you are able to make decisions without endless deliberation. In fact, when you and another person are making a decision, you are able to reach a solution fairly quickly while the other person has to cautiously plan every step. Eventually, they will agree with you, which is frustrating when your first impulse is usually the correct one in the decision-making process. You tend to be a little more casual, and you do not feel out of sorts when your home or office is not perfectly neat. In general, your life is pleasurable - you know how to have fun and will never be accused of being staid or stuffy. ("when your first impulse is usually the correct one!" Ya hear that??? That's what I've been saying for years!)

Your Anxiety Level: Excitable VS Relaxed
You are very excitable. You do not like stressful situations. You tend to react emotionally to stress, which can lead to bad moods, or even anxiety, anger, or depression. You like to be treated fairly, and may become upset if you sense that someone is trying to cheat you. You may find urges and cravings irresistible to the point that you are giving into them even if you know you will regret it or feel guilty later. Sometimes you may feel uncomfortable in social situations, even thinking that others are judging you. This self-consciousness may show through as shyness, because you do not want people to think poorly of you. You tend to worry and are apprehensive in unfamiliar circumstances. (This test is eerily correct... especially on this point!)

Your Openness to Change: Practical VS Imaginative
You are quite practical. You want just the facts - keep it plain and simple. You are practical, pragmatic and well grounded. You have no time for carelessness and impracticality. You prefer to keep your emotions to yourself, rather than exposing your feelings to the world. Life moves along much better for you when you can maintain a schedule and have routine in your life. Unexpected surprises and chaos are a major inconvenience to you. You tend to be conservative and are somewhat resistant to change. Others respect your ability to act properly in your everyday life. (This may not be the most accurate, more like half and half. You figure out which half.)

The way you Think/Reason: Concrete VS Abstract
You are slightly abstract in your thinking. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex, to others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. You tend to be intellectually curious and have the uncanny abilities to distinguish imaginative, creative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. (Another dead-on part...)


PART 2: OCCUPATIONAL PREFERENCE EVALUATION



You appear to be suited for a Social career. Social people seem to satisfy their needs in teaching or helping situations. They are drawn more to seek close interpersonal relationships and are less apt to engage in intellectual of extensive physical activity. The S type generally likes to help, teach, and counsel people more than engage in mechanical or technical activity. The S type usually likes to be around other people, working in groups and sharing responsibilities. They are good communicators and are interested in how people get along, and like to help other people with their problems. They like nursing, or giving first aid and providing information. They generally avoid using machines, tools, or animals to achieve a goal. They see themselves as helpful, friendly, and trustworthy.


The adjectives most typically associated with the Social occupational category are: convincing, cooperative, easy-going, friendly,
generous, helpful, honest, idealistic, insightful, kind, outgoing, patient, responsible, social, sympathetic, tactful, trustworthy, understanding and warm.

So.... notice that none of these things are negatives? I like these kinds of tests... makes me feel all tall and proud... which after the last few nights, is a much-needed thing, eh?

What Just Happened Here?

First, let me say that I am more than thrilled to see that I have been added to someone's list-o-links! Woohoo, I have arrived.

Now, for an Artemis update. Okay. I cannot believe I did this, but I did. There was this post, on a website I read regularly, from a tranny-boy living in this immediate area. So I send an email to this boi, he sends one back, and next thing I know I see his screenname online and we chat. And he asks me what I'm doing tonight (last night) and I tell him, and he somehow convinces me to change my plans and go hang out with him and his buds. In the snow. Going who knows where to do who knows what. And why do I trust this boi? Cuz he's from Texas... and charming... and oh - did I mention the gorgeous pix he sent me? :::::::::::sigh:::::::::

So I let this boi and his friends pick me up... and he is every bit as hunky as the pix said... which immediately makes me wonder if I'm even in his league... but apparently I was, as was proven later. He says several complimentary things, we start driving to pick up the next passenger, and we are suddenly in the middle of a FRICKIN' BLIZZARD. The roads are unpaved, the truck (yep, a Texas boi with a pickup truck..... :::::sigh:::::) the truck is swerving all over, and I am panicking. It is then that we realize that not only do we know several people in common back home, he actually DATED MY PSYCHO ABUSIVE EX. Oh My God. Course, this was when he was a she, and just coming out, but still.... so then it turns out we both know each other's stories.... lots of "Oh, you're the one with the permanent damage to her foot from going through the window" and "Oh, you're the one who was hospitalized after she punctured your jugular vein." Good times indeed.

So, once we finish our sad trip through memory lane, we sort of chitchat while the driver tries valiantly to get us where we're going. Once there, we pick up the other girl, and the people from all cars have a confab about how we're not really going to go to this bar out in BFE cuz it's really just tooooooo snowy. So we head around and go back to one couple's place to "hang out." Exhausted, we end up almost passing out, and I still have to be taken home. So I end up offering that, if he promises to be a gentleman, we can just go to his place and they can take me home in the morning. So he does and we do. At this point he's held my hand just a bit, but no real indication of interest or attraction. I'm playing it as cool as I can, cuz damn, he's fine.

So - back at his place.... we will now do the edited-for-TV version and just say that he was, indeed, interested, but I held true to my promise to myself that nothing significant would happen on the first date, in hopes that were would be a second. Still, all in all, a fun night. Though I only got 1.5 hours of sleep... I just hate sleeping on hard beds.

Next morning (this morning) we wake up and - nothing. No kiss good morning, no cuddle, no nothing. I just don't get bois! But okay, I'm rolling with the punches, and just getting ready.... and then it's that akward time when we're at my door and he hugs me and kisses my cheek and says "call me" and I'm like "I don't have your number, you have mine. You call me" and he's like "I didn't write it down, I just called it off the screen, so you email me." To which I reply "Well, we both have each other's emails so, looks like one of us should start emailing." And then he grinned at me, I grinned back, and I walked inside.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, really I have no idea except that this is my version of a journal and an event like this must be recorded somewhere. But I suppose also to add my voice to the legions of single women everywhere - straight and lesbian - who throw their hands up after a first date and scream "What Just Happened Here?"

So.... that's the update. Feel free to offer advice, consolation, or a better offer on the comments page.

Here's yet another quiz... but this one is topical, considering the night I had last night.



Which drink are you?

I reek of smoke, I'm tired and have a headache. Yes, I went clubbing. Oh, did I mention I am quite tipsy and irritated and sad and depressed? Oh yes, and... I miss her. I really, really miss her. Dancing is perhaps the worst, cuz we really danced well together... she was so cute and fun. And I miss her. And I hate myself for missing her. I hate it that I want to call her, that I want her to miss me, and that I wonder if maybe she thinks of me when she goes dancing.
Of course, she's got the New One, so I doubt she's even thinking of me at any time... well, other than the daily IMs she sends me... no wonder I'm thinking of her... oh, and rereading all the crappy IMs and emails she's sent me... along with enough of the good ones to really twist the knife.
Gosh.... I hate this.... I am going to go to bed and watch Daria...
Oh - and did I mention that while out tonight with my friend who just broke up with her girlfriend... there was this girl I sorta thought was cute and so I started dancing with her, and then she ended up liking my friend. Which is great for my friend, who really needed a pick-me-up along those lines, but a real bummer for me cuz Hey! It's all about me! Didn't they know that?
Okay, I will now put myself to bed before I more completely humiliate myself a la blogger.

Oh Yeah!!!! Now this is something I can aspire to!



Take The Mu$ic Biz Whore Test

Okay, as promised...... (drumroll please) here are my grades!!!

Multicultural Education: A-
Intro to Women's Studies: A
Intro to Film Studies: C+
Beginning Swimming: No Credit (yeah, I dropped out... I'm a wuss)

So - yes, I know that's only three classes, but us old ones are allowed to take a reduced schedule the first semester to help us "ease" our way into the whole high-pressured world of academia.

And, about that C+.... to be honest, I was thrilled just to not have failed! Not bad for not turning in a paper and sitting through a final exam that seemed like it was written for some other class than the one I'd been sitting through.

So, all in all.... I'm quite pleased. I have a 3.33 GPA for my first semester at "big-girl-school," I've got a new job, and I've got an incredible schedule of classes for next semester. Add to that my rather wonderful friends I've made up here, the handful of people back home that seem to continue to care about me even in my absence, and my quickly healing heart, and life is good.

Okay - mark your calendars. I just said life is good. There isn't a big enough piece of wood to knock on to keep that from turning into a curse. Oh well... it's nice to be happy for awhile. Plenty of time for the other stuff, eh?

I am not sure I can adequately express how thrilled I am that I got this answer (of course, also up there was You Are Lurch, but I am studiously ignoring that option)

So, for yet another test (stolen from Deborah - thanks!) here goes:

You're Morticia Addams!

Take The Addams Family Test Here!

Well.... now the shootings are coming closer to home, and I'm not exactly thrilled about it. And I'm not exactly thrilled with my selfish reaction, either. I mean, I've covered murders, murders that were "literally" close to home, and now it takes a college-based shooting to really unnerve me. I suppose I just picture myself as that random student who was just hanging out in the student center and now is laying in some morgue.
Well, just goes to show... don't put the crazies on academic suspension. Oh, wait.... I suppose it's the crazies who are more likely to be put on it.... and how the hell are we supposed to tell who's a crazy or not? Hmmm, maybe if it just weren't so DAMN EASY to get guns? Or maybe if people just had some sort of sense of personal responsibility and moral code? Or perhaps we should all just start wearing bullet-proof vests wherever we go.

Okay, finally a quiz that speaks to moi! It's the Butch/Femme test at www.superdyke.com, a new site being developed by a fellow blogger. Guess what I rated???? It's not in the cute little blog-friendly format, so I couldn't get the picture here, but here's the text:

The Scorecard:
Your score was 14.
You femme fatale, you!
"Girl Power" means hogging the bathroom in the morning for only a half an hour or finding the right accessory for the dress you saw in Vogue. You do have to get your girlfriend to kill that spider because it's just icky. But no matter, she'll do anything for you because she's wild for your feminine wiles.

This is perhaps the cutest thing I've come across on the Internet yet.... gotta check it out!

Okay.... since nobody actually reads this except for one (wavin' at K) I feel it is safe to admit - I am currently nearly-obsessed with Gwen Stefani, yes, the blonde babe from No Doubt. It comes from too many reruns of the Behind the Music, Making the Video and other MTV/VH1 fluff pieces that aired during finals week. That and the fact that her lyrics sound like they could have been written by me (well, if I was incredibly musically talented, which I'm not.) Well, and maybe it helps that she's incredibly hot and seemingly rather unpretentious.
But why am I telling you this? Well, of course to set up this link, to a rollingstone.com story about herself and her band. Enjoy.

Well, today is the day that rumors say we will get our grades. So, what am I doing? I'm compulsively checking getgrades every few minutes... WHY WON'T THEY GIVE US OUR GRADES?????
Damn, I hate being so feedback-oriented. It affects me in so many situations... but damn! I just want my grades!
It's not like they're even going to be that much of a surprise. I had better get an A in two of them... else I'll be throwing a queen-sized hissy fit. But that third one.... Intro to Film... well, that's the class that got sacrificed on the altar of the evil ex, and I am scared to see how low I can go with that one. Could be a C, D, even an F, I just don't know. But hey, it's all a learning experience, right? Course, I thought I already learned the lessons about procrastination and not allowing relationship drama affect my college experience. Well, I suppose the really good lessons, we get to learn twice. or three times. or more if we're stubborn.
Gotta go get lunch (and check getgrades again)
I'll post my grades as soon as I get them, of course.

Yep, it's another test... this one's depressingly accurate.

You're a fucking cat, not some fairy tale shit! You've no place in the world of nonsense, and its puzzles have nothing to do with you, whether you find them too easy to understand or too difficult. Things are what they are, and you're quite happy that way, existing in reality.

By the way, this timer is completely wrong... it says it's only 8:55, when it's actually 11:55.... gotta fix that... but not now. Oh, new template coming this week.... deciding amongst them now. yeehaw.

Okay, how pitiful is it that I desperately need to take a shower, in order to get to the damn dining hall in time for lunch, so I can clean my room for my unexpectedly early (cuz of the snow) date, and instead - WHAT AM I DOING???

Yep, I'm watching Footloose. I came across it on cable and have been glued to it ever since... the dancing, the drama, the dreck. I love it all. Damn that was a good movie, and a good time. (but really, really bad hair.) Okay..... gotta go shower. Must go shower. Shower.

Okay - although doing anything remotely Kevin Smith-related almost gave me an allergic reaction (the evil ex being a major KS fan, of course) I just HAD to find out which Kevin Smith female I would be.... and guess which one I am??????

You're a very open and adventurous person, you've been around the block and back several times. Yet, as all people do, you realize that this life style cannot go on forever and need to settle down. Hopefully as more time progresses you'll stick to one gender and not be so greedy! Take The "Which Kevin Smith Female Are You?" Quiz!!

Here are the results of my Electronic Palm Reading, which I must say are oddly on target. Course, it's easy to predict vague characteristics and all, but still.... it's interesting. Those of you who know me, feel free to agree or disagree with what you read here. My own thoughts are in italics....

You have a good imagination, and often exhibit sensitivity to others. true enough

You may have trouble concentrating or focusing your attention, especially under stress. I work best under stress, actually, but trouble concentrating in general sounds about right

There is a tremendous amount of intensity in your mental processes. Never really thought of myself as all that intense...

At times, you may tend to be overly sensitive to criticism. You can be excessively cautious or narrow in your outlook unless you receive the right kind of encouragement. Right on target!! I always tell my bosses, girlfriends, etc., that I am incredibly easy to handle as long as I receive a steady diet of praise, appreciation and, if appropriate (gf, not boss), affection. Without those things, I generally just want to take my toys and go home.

You have so many interests that you may have trouble deciding which ones to pursue. This can make you seem very contradictory, since you are so passionate and sincere about each new idea you embrace. Again, right on target. For evidence, see lengthy list of various careers, educational pursuits and romantic entanglements. No wonder I'm tired.

The general flexibility of your character is a useful attribute. At certain times in your life, you may have romantic conflicts and difficulty maintaining friendships. You will overcome these problems after a little introspection. Romantic conflicts? Me? Naaaaah..... well, okay, yeah. Introspection, eh? I'll have to try that sometime.

There may be times in your life when you give in to feelings of sadness or depression. Ding, Ding, Ding.... we have a winner.

You are naturally charming and inclined to be flirtatious. Who, me?, she said, batting her eyelashes and flipping her hair

At certain times in your life, you may have romantic conflicts and difficulty maintaining friendships. These problems are not likely to last long. Again with the conflicts... and difficulty maintaining friendships, no less. Entirely true, though I'm working on that one with some success.

There are inconsistencies in your energy level, possibly triggered by external factors or emotional changes. If almost always lazy and tired with small bursts of inspiration and enthusiasm counts as inconsistencies, then yep.

No matter what circumstances come your way, you have a generally positive attitude which may help you overcome life's obstacles. Okay, while I like to think of myself as tragically cynical and bitter, I suppose that really this is pretty dead-on, as I tend to remain hopeful and optimistic in most cases. Damn my sunny disposition.

Your high energy level and optimistic outlook draw people to you and increase your problem-solving capabilities. This may be something that is newly developing in me, because I can't see much proof of it in my past... something to look forward to, I suppose.

You have a basically strong constitution, and should enjoy good health most of the time. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Course, it doesn't help that I'm a wee bit of a hypochondriac and a klutz as well.

You are likely to make many changes in the direction of your life. This may be based on interruptions due to health problems, or it may be that you just have trouble focusing your energy. Too true, too true, as evidenced by my current role as college student 14 years after the fact. But then, change is what keeps life interesting, or so I keep telling myself.

I was always told that to get your hooker/stripper name, you take the name of your first pet and the name of the street you first lived on, and there you have it. That would make me Mary Washington, which of course shows that I was both unimaginative as a child and infinitely not cut out for a career in the sex industry. However, if we move forward a few years, we can get Velvet Vickery, which isn't bad at all......

But according to this site, my "exotic name" is Tammy Twinkle..... not that exotic, I'm thinking. I've got to work harder on that one. Any suggestions from y'all?

All hail Arnkell the Tyrant. Yggdrasil shall always protect you.

So says the Viking Name generator.... I don't know how I feel about being labeled a tyrant... sheesh.... I'm not *that* bossy!

My Spirit Animal is the Wolf!

Cycle of Power: Year Round - Full Moons - Twilight

Aspects: Guardianship, Loyalty, Leadership, Ritual and Spirit.

Click here
to discover your spirit animal!

This test made by Celtic_Shamanes

So, I'm a wolf.... interesting. This test was stolen from greybird, who borrowed it from Catherine, who took it from elsewhere. God I love these bloggers.

Testing......

So poking around on other people's blogs, I found a quiz that is close to my heart - Which David Bowie Am I? I grew up absolutely worshiping him.... Ziggy Stardust was played over and over and over just to keep my sanity during those "turbulent teen years" and his concert was one of the defining moments of music appreciation for me.

Now, of course, I no longer listen to him - his old stuff served its purpose, and his new stuff just doesn't affect me the same way. But when I'm in the deep throes of life's crap, it's amazing how soothing it can be to hear those first few strains of "Fame" or "Heroes". Ziggy played guitar.

Which David Bowie are you?

Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't point you to David Bowie's own internet portal.... www.davidbowie.com

AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
This has been an incredibly stressful week, and I am just not even ready to begin to blog about it. But be sure to check back and hear all about my awful traveling nightmares, the tale of the broken nail, and the final flight outta hell.

Hope everyone else's week is going better than mine....

Perhaps I should just make a "Random Tests Blog" since that's what this page seems to be turning into.... nonetheless, here's the wat corporate mascot would I be quiz.....

Not sure how I feel about the answer.... it certainly does nothing for my self-image, ya know.

Shamelessly ripped off from Scorpion's Sting




Take the Corporate Mascot Test at Willaston's Lounge!

Okay - considering the questions I had to answer for this "Am I Evil" Test, I'm frightened by anyone who scores higher than I did! I mean, really!

I am 52% evil.




I'm getting there. I haven't done all the damage I could do but I've done quite a bit. I'm just over the border into the Evil Zone.


Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

Here's a poem (also from the Kindred site) that perfectly sums up my New Year's.... well, the negative side of it at least. Thankfully there is more to it than this.... The poem's by starlight, one of the contributors to the collective site.

Happy New Year

I hate you
yes I do
[atleast that's what I tell myself again and again]
fuck you for all the pain you caused
you ignorant, selfish son of a gun

[you might have been my angel
the one who helped me through and
once my heart belonged to you
but now we are definetly through]

happy new year
this time with no tears

This is a beautiful little affirmation/encouragement found on the Kindred site.... it made me feel better just reading it, so I thought I'd share it with y'all.

There are times when you seem to feel like you are alone. I just want to tell you, you are not. I am here, s/he's here, we are all here. Don't think of yourself as worthless. You obviously don't realize your importance. You are caring, loving, emotional, learning, feeling and teaching. You are important. Everyone doesn't know where to find love. They search for it all their lives. You are drenched in love. Making you a special being. You keep the love flowing. You are needed. You are appreciated. Keep it flowing. Regardless of the world and it's actions, keep the love going. Without you, the world would be loveless. Don't feel alone, worthless or unloved; not when there's people like you in the world.

Okay, I must stop taking silly quizzes at work. However, if I'm gonna take 'em, at least I've liked all the answers. For all my anime friends (those into anime, not actual anime characters who I delusionally think are my friends):





You are Sailor Moon!
You can feel a bit overwhelmed by your duties
at times, but don't fear! This is what you were
cut out for!

You're a sensitive, caring person and a loyal,
loving friend.


You fight with the power of the moon!




Take the Which Sailor Are You? Quiz!

...created by Kenzie.

HAHAHAHA This is hilarious.... finally a personality test that tells me something interesting!


Take the Affliction Test Today!

Okay.... feeling miserable today. For some reason my ex - who was horrid to me and basically trashed my Christmas plans along with much of my faith in women and my own ability to judge them - is acting pissy to me! The gall! And after refusing to see me in person (this was a long-distance thing, with a breakup-by-phone) the whole time I'm in town, she now is saying that she doesn't care that I'm going out Sunday night, she's got plans with her new girlfriend and we will just have to be civil if we run into each other. When I was the one saying that all along and her refusing to meet, saying her new GF wouldn't allow it, for fear she'd have feelings for me. Of course she'd have feelings for me. I mean, shit! She was supposedly madly in love with me just four weeks ago!

So basically she's too scared to see me without her girlfriend there, but as long as they're together, then too bad about any feelings I might have seeing them. This is not good, and I will probably just not go out that night. After all, it can only end badly, as I would be dateless and drunk, and would likely end up going psychotic on one or both of them.

Oh, and did I mention that when I tried to make a little joke about how she's been kinda grumpy when we talk, you know, trying to lighten the mood, she writes back "actually I've been in a great mood for the past few weeks," which is, of course, the time since we broke up and she got with her next "true love." I think her little jab was totally uncalled for, and it just proves what a friend told me, which is you learn a lot about a person when you break up, and she is definitely not the person I thought she was.

Well, enough of my bitter self.... tonight's a party, which I'm quite happy about. yay.

Did you know that if you're jailed for failing to turn over your notes, you can just sit it out and then go home when the Grand Jury lets out? I never knew that..... though, somehow I doubt I'll ever be held in contempt for not releasing my notes. It's not that I would just turn my notes over willy-nilly, rather that I don't think the criminal justice system cares that much about holiday parade routes and volunteer appreciation lunches.

Perhaps that's something to aspire to.... a story worth protecting a source over. I don't know though... jail colors would really wash out my complexion.

Well, another illustrious alum bites the dust...

OKAY!!! This looks like fun, though I'm gonna have to wait till I get home to try it out myself.... PillowMail is the first internet service that allows you to create a thrilling, explicit erotic fantasy about yourself and your special someone, doing all sorts of exciting and sexy things, in all sorts of exotic and interesting locales!

Well, this is appropriate, since I played this character during my three-year run in Texas Rocky casts... Course I also played Columbia, Janet and Magenga - my absolute favorite!

Woohoo! Found some great blogs, and a fun new site that I don't think I should probably investigate too much while I'm sitting at work... but here it is in case you're interested. It's called DykeDiva and it bills itself as an alternative lesbian site.... looks good! www.dykediva.com

And apparently, if I were a character in the Breakfast Club, I'd be "The Princess." Gee, I always thought of myself as more "The BasketCase" played by Ally Sheedy. Guess that means I've grown up a bit since then? Or maybe the test is just tragically flawed..... hmmmm, what do you think?

I obviously have too much time on my hands since I keep taking these silly interenet quizzes... but it's reassuring to know that out of the Will and Grace characters, this is who I'd be. After all, she's rich, gorgeous and never seems to get hangovers! Woohoo!

WAAAHHHHH! I changed the template and it threw away my comments.... guess I can't go around just changing my template all the time after all... oh well. I'm going to play around and see which I like best, then try to get my comments box back.

So, here I sit at work, getting sucked into the elections nightmare that grips the newsroom every few months. This time I get to type in occupations for hopeful primary candidates, things like "farmer, rancher, bulldoze work" and "oil pipe salesman" Yeah, those are the people I want running my world. Course, the worse ones are all the "certified public accountant" and "financial advisor" which basically says to me "I know how to steal your money at home, and would love the opportunity to try it out in your city hall."

Nah, I'm not cynical about politics, just politicians.

Course that's what I used to dream of being - I was going to change the world and make it a better place for each of us to live. Thank god for blackmail pictures, or else I might actually be trying to do all that crazy stuff.

By the way, to those of you who know the newsroom, and you know who you are, what's up with the Metro Spread? I mean, really! I can't believe how bad it is!!! Thank god I escaped.

Bored.

Here's what some random test says should be my New Year's Resolution. What do you think?




Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

Okay, here's my comments box.... woohoo - I'm getting bloggy with it.
Thanks again to my pal in Plano.

Well, this is the first post of my new Blog... thanks to Katie for turning me on to this. I'm not sure if I'll ever really tell anyone about this, perhaps I will just use this as my personal journal (though how frightening to have my personal thoughts available online for strangers to read.)

Well, I can't say what the purpose of this will be, but for now I must say I like the URL - Artemis Out Loud. I like it, I like it.